New York City

We start our journey in the LAX airport, new Target backpacks strewn next to our chairs, coffees in hand, listening to some woman talk about her (or maybe it was her sisters? I don’t really know) birthday plans in New York. Tabitha sat next to me while I called my core family members, updating them on our travel progress. 

I called my father, I called my mother, I called my brother, and I called my sister from another mister. Though it only took the third call to realize that I had neglected to tell any of them that I was traveling to multiple coasts on our excursion. In one case he had never heard that I was leaving LA in the first place. Whoopsie! 

Finally we started to board making sure to take some preflight aids to ensure we would get through this flight stress free. Cue one of the weirdest flights of my entire life. Nothing really happened and Delta was great, surprisingly. I, however, was intermittently falling into a coma. Every time I shut my eyes it was the deepest REM I had ever experienced before suddenly waking up to a drink from a stewardess and conking out immediately after. Tabitha had similar snoozes and our 8hr flight in which we were supposed to dedicate some of our time to Ramen and Rosé research (ie movie watching), quickly became a passive battle. There went our plans of going to a comedy club when landing. Instead we got through JFK, waited in a very concise but cold taxi line, and made our way to our hotel. 

The Lexington from the Autograph Collection is quite honestly one of the best hotels I have ever stayed in based on vibes alone. Ladies, Gentlemen, and Scoundrels of the world: Tabitha Thomas knoooows how to pick a hotel! 

The revolving door, a staple New York will never get rid of, introduces you to two beautiful prints of Marilyn Monroe and Dean Martin.You then walk into a wide open space looking up to a balcony of the second floor, leading into a restaurant in which velvet furniture is the M.O, and is so sure you’re there for a good time that its vending machine has rows of mini champagne bottles. Jazz permeates the halls. The elevators each have gorgeous murals of 20s-esq abstract men and women that make you think of bepop melodies.

But alas everything is too good to be true, as I forgot the most New York hallmark of it all: tiny rooms. Now I knew this was kingly compared to some NYC hotels but for my Los Angelean soul it was a little cramped. Also there was no microwave which really upset me. I didn’t realize until then that I had such a close relationship to reheating food. 

After setting down our bags and choosing our sides of the bed, we doordashed two mediocre Italian meals and two very necessary bottles of wine to make it through two poorly made sequels (go listen to them if you haven’t already). 

We made it through the movies…well, one of us did. I fell asleep during Hocus Pocus 2 and was forced to watch it on the taxis the next day as we rode to Green Kitchen meeting our long time friends Hannah and Hunter. Hannah being the reason for this entire trip in the first place. 

Hannah Bialous’ birthday is no joking matter so Tab and I flying out to celebrate it was entirely necessary, and we just missed them. We caught up over coffee, orange juice, and waffles learning about their new lives in the big apple. P.S. Everyone in the Brooklyn area go catch our boy singing his heart out with the Gallery Players in Peter and the Starcatcher! 

We wrapped up brunch agreeing on when to meet up for our evening plans and caught yet another cab to Gotham Productions. It’s a work trip, duh ;)

Gotham was great by the way. Super professional, lovely studios, and one staff member was geared with a sailors hat so you know who the captain was. Overall chill vibes and when we go to New York you’ll probably catch us there again. 

Now you know we work hard, and we definitely play hard, sometimes at the same time, so we went back to the hotel, got glammed up, snapped some photos as evidence, and bopped on down to Brooklyn for some gluten free dinner, a la Hannah, at WILD. 

Our dear Hannah is celiac so gluten was out of the question and WILD answered the call. We had some delicious truffle penne pasta with sauce so good, I forgot all about my sweet love affair with glutinous flour. When suddenly a new lover entered my life! A little dense but god was he rich. Mr. Brownie Divine. Ooh the brownie was complete with chocolate chips, chocolate sauce, and raspberry compote, mmm mh mmmm. My greatest love of New York. That is until the next time. 

We ate, we toasted, and made our way down further into Brooklyn to grab some drinks and pop another gummy aid. 

We found ourselves at The Gibson. When you think of a bar you probably imagine something very close to The Gibson. It can be summed up as classic. From its wooden countertop and stools to the universal dartboard and foosball table. The only thing that could make this more bar-like would be a cowboy walking in through saloon doors with a six-shooter. But this is the east coast, so we’ll give ‘em a pass. Tab of course ordered her cosmo, me a rusty nail, and we got a whole lot of quarters to challenge the birthday girl and her beau to the closest thing to football I will ever understand. I’m gonna be honest I have no recollection of who won, but it was a good night and Hannah seemed to have a happy birthday, so scores shmores. We wrapped up the evening with a quick pic of me with a sloth mural (maybe my favorite picture of the trip) and headed back uptown. 

HANNAH’S B-DAY PT. 2

We got started a little late and so we brunch right across the street from the hotel at The Lexington Brass. In the lobby of a different hotel it had an almost navel vibe mixed with city spirit and I had one of the best Omelets of my life. Now I am not normally an omelet girl but this egg white, spinach, mushroom, and feta concoction was well balanced and delightful. We caught up even more, telling them the tea of LA, before we all got ready for the most awaited part of the trip: Broadway! 

But first a few pit stops: Barnes & Nobles to feed our ever growing library. Starbucks to feed our ever growing caffeine addiction. The Disney store to feed our childhood. And Bareburger to just feed us. 

Then it was the show. 

Into the Woods at the St. James Theater was everything you want this show to be. There are a lot of people in the world who don’t truly understand Sondheim nor this show specifically. They say he cares too much about showing off, the entire 2nd act should have been cut,his music is just ugly, and much more. I am of the opinion that this show is incredibly hard to pull off, but when done well can be incredibly thought  provoking and beautiful. To make it work, you have to have strong individuals that make an even stronger ensemble. Sadly not everyone in this show was giving it their all so it did suffer in parts, but those that did were engaging, funny, and moving in their choices. 

Stephanie J. Block is an absolute Queen, in  the baker’s wife's clothing and navigates the ups and downs of this role with tact and dexterity. Montego Glover as the witch was wild and glamorous. Gavin Creel and Alex Joesephy Greyson were as funny in their prince hood as they were regal and swoon worthy. The real star of this show though is the simple but imaginative puppetry. The giant’s wire boots were inspired, giving just the taste of this being but with so much movement that it felt real. The cluster of birds for Cinderella were simple yet wonderful. And Milky White was probably the most tear invoking of all. The real wonder of this show is that you can really run wild with how you present it but it has to be done in a way that holds the grittiness and true human experience to teach adults what the Grimm brothers were trying to teach children. It had its problems, yes, but it’s a monster of a show and there hasn’t been a perfect production of it, nor will there be, for a long time. This came closer to most though. 

We finished the evening off with one last meal. A tradition of many Broadway goers: cheesecake at Juniors. 

We strolled back to the hotel, said our goodbyes and the next morning Tab and I boarded a plane too early in the morning saying goodbye to New York.

Happy Hawaii!

AND ALOHA HONOLULU! 

After a very long 10 hour flight in which I read the entirety of Slow Days, Fast Company by Eve Babitz (an amazing book which pretty much encapsulates my thoughts on LA/Hollywood) and Tab intermittently slept, read The Things We Never Got Over, and didn’t pee, we arrived at the Daniel K. Inouye airport. 

This airport is odd. You basically have to walk a mile half out doors from terminal to terminal to baggage claim. Luckily the weather was lovely (Tabitha’s hair would disagree*). I have no idea what they do during monsoons, but I imagine it’s not unlike being caught in the splash zone of sea world during a tornado. We got to baggage, ordered a Lyft, and were greeted with imitation lava stone leis at the Royal Hawaiian Resort on Waikiki. 

If you needed more evidence that Tabitha Thomas is the hotel queen, look to the castle she picked for our tropical leg of the trip. This resort is entirely pink, has gorgeous green leafy courtyards, a beach side lawn where you can do morning yoga and aerobics, plenty of food options, and a spa. 

Thoughts of New York were blown away by the sweet island breeze. We unpacked each getting our own bed this time. Changing out of our airport sweats into something brighter and shorter, we then floated on down to the Mai Tai bar to cash in on our comp champagne and order the first of many rum filled drinks. This would become our most frequented place in Honolulu. We finished the evening with our first watch on the beautiful beach before turning in.

We woke up ready to enjoy the pleasure of the island and got ready to go to breakfast saying bye to the house keepers and letting them know we didn’t need turn-down service for today. They were very concerned about this but let us go. 

We stopped down the main road to Eggs n’ Things cutting through an alley that Apple Maps insisted we take. And this is kind of where we hit a rocky patch in our otherwise fabulous trip. The cafe was great, very homey, good pancakes, great juice, and the waitress was very kind although she confused us for a different pair of very well dressed ladies from the day before (who knew we had bff doppelgängers). 

Still blue skies and clear waters as we got a good couple hours of tanning and drinking. Tabitha discovered her new favorite drink: The Pink Palace. The clouds started to come in though as we got up to the hotel to change for our evening plans. I started to feel a little under the weather and suddenly the kimchi fried rice that I had that morning, while delicious, apparently didn’t agree so much with digestion. So up it came and down I went. An hour-long nap to try and recover turned into two turned into ten, and the evening plans had to be postponed. Tabitha apparently also had to battle a little bit though not as bad. The angel that she is let me rest for the entire night. 

Everything was rainbows the next day though thank god.

We were awoken by the housekeeping determined this time to clean, and we got ready and headed down stairs. 

Azure offered us a wonderful egg free breakfast overlooking the water. We were only slightly tormented by an earwig that after a few minutes of failed smashing we wrapped in a napkin and stuffed it under a chair cushion where we promptly forgot it. Sorry Azure…

Tabitha went to lounge by the pool working through her book The Things We Never Got Over. 

I however went to the ocean. 

Let’s talk about a Hawaiian beach. Yes there are a lot of people around at all times, yes there are too many rocks to bang up your toes. But if I could spend every day getting into the turquoise water for hours I would. At Waikiki you can walk for half a mile when the tide is out midday and still the water will only come up to your shoulders. There are people out on floaties but honestly the water is at a great buoyancy that flotation devices aren’t necessary. There are these perfect sections where people can catch some major waves at high tide, newbies can try bunny waves, or you can just vibe all by your lonesome. The sand and the water is always so warm that it feels like the world is your bubble bath. I adore this beach and it most definitely will not be my last trip. Not only were some of my physical scars faded by the healing salt water, some of the stress of the year seeped off of my spine. I walked out feeling better than I had in a long time. 

Healing continues right into some fantastic massages that we got at the hotel spa. 80 minutes of kneading and pulling out us right in the mood for another Mai Tai and Pink Palace and that night we decided to have a Royal night in and ordered some cheesecake and rum to go with some Sex in the City streaming. 

Venturing out the next morning telling housekeeping again that they could skip our room, we went to Heavenly Island Lifestyle for some hopefully tummy friendly breakfast. Tabitha had some very crispy fried chicken and fries with a lovely cocktail (it was no pink palace though). I had a sudden craving for soup so I fed my long fast from pho and had some of the best since I lived in Modesto. I know that sounds shocking but it’s really the only thing Modesto has going for it. Over all the food was fantastic and the restaurant had very cute decor with little Halloween touches for the season. 

Back to the beach! 

And as it was our official last day we of course had some truly fun things in store. After Tab’s final Pink Palace we rode up the elevator to find housekeeping had come in after we left to clean (you can’t stop great service no matter how hard you try). We then caught a ride into downtown Honolulu for a night of firsts. 

First half was Haps n’ Flow. As our very chill driver dropped us off we got out and got ready for (drum roll please) TATOOS! 

I was an ink virgin so I was a little nervous for what was about to happen, but luckily Tab’s a tattoo vet and helped me handle it. 

We met with our artists, worked out prices, and filled out paperwork. Cue the next two painful hours of the entire trip. My guy got right to work penning out, by hand, a beautiful octopus design that wrapped around my ankle. There was a bit of a snafoo with Tab’s as the og choice was still working on a massive tribal tat on a birthday girl's thigh. He was a little held up. Luckily another artist drew up her prints and took over so it all worked out. We lay there on our respective tables, trying to focus on the beats bumpin’ from the speakers. The other client was thriving as well, fighting through some tears for the serious ink she was receiving. Honestly it was a good vibe. 

The shop overall was pretty chill, even with some misunderstanding at the end. Tips: make sure you prep to pay for tattoos in cash even if the deposit was Venmo. Determine if deposit is a part of the price initially. If your dad face times you mid tattoo have someone else tell him what’s happening. 

After that we took Tab to her first. Break n’ Anger rage room. These names are real by the way, as fake/coincidental as it seems. 

Originally this was supposed to be the first night activity, but our stomachs kept us from fighting out our feelings. The guys here though were super chill and worked with rescheduling. 

Our guide brought us in through a black lit neon hallway, up some steep stairs, past a roped off balcony, and to the shop to pick up our breakables. Now I do not recommend doing this right after getting a tattoo but we’re crazy so whatever. We got on our suits, helmets, and gloves. The next hour we spent smashing and trashing shit raging out all stress. Absolutely necessary. 

There was still a little left over though at the end of the hour and a half so of course they brought us to the splatter room. A room seemingly covered in 500 different Jackson Pollock paintings. They also have a rad turtle statue for a buddy, a drum caked in paint, and outside guns filled with it for your spraying pleasure. We got to spinning the canvases they provide to have a little creative break. Still in the spirit, we decorated the walls with a very tasteful “suck a c*ck REDACTED” as a special message to one particular person out there. I was inspired to just lay painted hand prints on everything, blessing the turtle as well. The hour rounded off and we were done for the night. The guys were super sweet and made extra sure we got into our Lyft safely going as far as to help flag it down.

We got tot he hotel and not a minute to soon as our respective tattoos were crying in agony. We had a night cap to help ease the pain and knock out.

Our final morning was spent looking out across the water before we had to fly back to reality. 

Aloha Hawaii, you were amazing and we will be back.